Debbie's Services: August 3rd/4th, 2008
Debbie's funeral mass was held today under a picture-perfect beautiful Marion sky at St. Rita's Catholic Church, celebrated by the Rev. Paul Caron. In addition to her extended family and friends from the local community, mourners came from as far a field as Chicago, Florida, Washington DC and all over New England to pay their respects and join in the celebration of Debbie's life.
Debbie's family members participated in the liturgy of the word and her nieces and nephews made for a memorable offertory procession! While there were many tears, there was also much laughter and smiles as friend and Pfizer colleague Joann Zamparo, and cousin Christy Swenson eulogized Debbie to wonderful effect. We'd like to thank Joann and Christy for kindly agreeing to share their thoughtful and touching tributes to Deb for all to see on the blog (see below). Following the mass, friends and family gathered at the Mattapoissett Kinsale Inn to share stories and memories of Debbie.
The wake for Debbie was held on Sunday August 3rd at the Saunders-Dwyer funeral home in Mattapoissett and was attended by over 200 who came and offered their sympathies to the family. The rooms were decorated by examples of Debbie's beautiful quilts including the quilts Debbie made for her siblings' weddings and a special quilt she made for her mother Dianne. Photo montages of various stages of Debbie's life were also on prominent display and the family would like to thank everyone who sent in photos for your generosity and thoughtfulness. The wonderful floral tributes from all across the nation lent the room the air of a lovely summer garden. Debbie surely would have approved.
"Radiant" by Joann Zamparo
While watching “Charlotte’s Web” with my 4 year old daughter, Charlotte creates a web with the word RADIANT. My daughter then asked, of course, “what does radiant mean, Mom?” Well, let me think now, how to define that to a 4 year old? I explained that radiant means something that shines, that you want to be near, something that is just nice to be around, beautiful, sparkly and warm. Thinking of that word now, I can’t help but think that is the perfect description of Debbie.
I first met Debbie when she interviewed me for a position. She then became my mentor and we immediately became friends. We spent many hours laughing until tears ran down our faces. Part of mentoring required I watch her and she watch me during our site visits. Traveling with Debbie was always the true definition of the word “trip”. She had a giant bag filled with what we called her “lotions and potions”, a bag the size of the average carry-on, and this DID NOT include her makeup. She stated that she required several dozen things for hair, face, skin, etc BEFORE she even got to makeup. When she asked where my bag was, since my entire suitcase was the size of her lotions and potions bag, I meekly stated that I would be using the lotion and shampoo that we got in the hotel. Up until that very moment, that seemed like a reasonable idea.
Debbie conducted herself professionally with the utmost confidence, style and wit. I learned so much from her presentation skills and her approach in obtaining what was needed for a successful clinical trial. Always impeccably dressed, down to the matching nail polish, Debbie put all of us to shame in the fashion department. However, she was more than happy to lend an afternoon or evening shopping to “help you out” with your clothing purchases, designating things either MUST HAVES, or a REAL (insert your name).
Debbie was a very talented person, too. She was the Home Depot Poster Child. Any home improvement project was no match for Debbie. She would go home on a Friday and come back the next Monday having completed a project I couldn’t even fathom how to begin. After knowing her for a very short time, and explaining the woes of having to have 2 rooms redone in our 1887 house in preparation for my baby, Debbie happily offered to do them with us. Well, we didn’t know what we were getting into, and she worked tirelessly 12-14 hour days on several weekends to prepare and paint walls that were horsehair plaster with 5-6 layers of wallpaper on them. It was during those weekends that we cemented and solidified our friendship (and when I actually began to like Country music). Through an entire weekend, we talked about our lives, families and relationships, and laughed at stories around the latest of Debbie’s dates. Debbie brought several prospective men over to our house for dinner, as we screened and interviewed, and we would always conclude that the person was not good enough for “our Debbie”. I hope she appreciated that, I think she did.
Debbie was so enjoyable to cook for. She liked many different kinds of food and I appreciate how she was clear about her dislikes, just to steer the preparer in the right direction. YES to pork and beef, NO to cinnamon and spicy and YES to lemon squares. I will never make lemon squares again without thinking of her. She had a fantastic appetite, and could easily adapt to fine dining or fast food, as long as there was plenty of it, with lots of protein to keep her going. Who else could swear by and openly recommend a meatball grinder with pickles? Who else would get off the plane in Plymouth, England and run right into the MacDonald’s for 2 hamburgers before our fine French dinner?
As the tears cloud my eyes, I know she knows that I absolutely love her so much, and thank her for all she has contributed to my life and to who I am. Radiant, just radiant, the kind of person you want to be around. My heart aches because the radiant light has faded. Debbie can only be described as a radiant person, nothing less...with all the proper accessories to match.
"Deborah Lynn Reardon" by Christine Swenson
I’m honored to have the privilege to say a few words today in memory of Debbie. Each of us here today has been blessed with the gift of sharing in some part of her life.
Debbie was so many things to so many people. She was first and foremost a beloved daughter to Auntie Dianne and Uncle Bobby. Thirty-six years ago Debbie was born into your loving arms, surrounded by all your hopes and dreams. Each day of her life she grew up confident in your love for her. I remember her as a happy baby – even with her cast and “special chair”. Seated in that chair she would take the half chewed food and slowly move her hand beyond the edge of the tray and then with a twinkle in her eye and an impish grin – she would drop it on the floor. An infectious giggle would follow making us all laugh. Debbie - your incredible sense of humor was there right from the beginning.
While you were third in line in birth order, you were certainly not a wall flower. Debbie – you readily said what was on your mind – although that quickly got you the nickname “Loose Lips” because sometimes what was on your mind was something you weren’t supposed to tell. Being 12th in the long line of cousins you were and always will be one of the “little kids”. I remember one day Jeanne and I (both “big kids”) were watching you and Amy play. We were busy predicting how beautiful you would both be when you grew up – I guess we were right. Debbie - we envied your beautiful curls, your stunning eyes, and your tall thin stature. Even among your siblings you were dubbed Gramma’s favorite. While that earned you the privilege of “yard sale adventures” it didn’t help you win at Scrabble! I’ve no doubt that the two of you will find some yard sale to frequent together in heaven searching for new treasures. Maybe you’ll finally win at Scrabble if you use some biopharmaceutical terms that use high scoring letters.
As you grew up – your circle of friends and admirers grew around you. Debbie, you have touched so many people in the short time we had to enjoy you. Your sincerity and honesty are a rare find and made you an incredible friend. Your genuine personality was one of “what you see is what you get” with no strings attached. Your spirit will live on with your friends in all the funny stories they tell.
Your free spirit led you to many places including a semester abroad in England and living the dream in California. You lived each day for the very worth of that day – having fun and sharing of yourself with family and friends. And how could I not mention your pets Joey, Nala and Radar? Each of their personalities were shaped by the love and care you gave them. We’ve all seen the fabulous picture of Deb with Nala and Radar. Even your pets were better for being a part of your life.
While most of us knew and loved you before your diagnosis of glioblastoma – we have admired and been inspired by your determination and fight against such a formidable enemy. You educated yourself on the disease and your treatment options. While managing your medical care, you courageously continued to live your life, on your terms with your sense of humor intact. For many of us, your blog let us stay connected to your battle with cancer. We rejoiced with you when your MRIs were clear and prayed for you when they weren’t - hoping against hope for a miracle that would let us keep you with us. Unfortunately, God had other plans and sent his angels to bring you home.
We will miss you more than words can describe. You will always live in our hearts and the many memories we treasure. We’ll need to somehow hang onto the fact that it’s not the amount of years in your life that is most important, but the amount of life in your years – and Debbie their was a tremendous amount of life in your short number of years.
I came across the two poems that I thought would be fitting to include. The first is for you Auntie Dianne and its called Mother and Child – of course it’s for you too Uncle Bobby but the title does says mother.
Mother and Child
By Kelly Cummings
I was there, I sat with you
The vigil through days and nights,
Pleading with heaven that I might take your place.
Heaven did not want me, but you, my beautiful girl.
I was there; I held your still hand,
Never to clasp mine again as it so often did when you were small.
How is it then, that I look for you in every crowd?
The breeze blows open my door; I turn to see if you are there.
Footsteps approaching, I raise my eyes expecting to see you,
Hands in pockets, all smiles.
Then I remember that heaven has taken you.
My girl, my Debbie
That I could sing to you, just one more song,
That I could hold you in my arms once again
If only for a moment.
How is it that I see you around every corner?
How is it that I hear your voice upon the evening breeze?
That lovely gossamer thread that binds a mother and child together,
That part of me that was you; the part of you that was me,
Is still tightly woven together my daughter.
I hear you on the breeze because you still sing (and probably dance too - though hopefully not the “Elaine from Seinfeld” one)
Out of heaven that gossamer thread
Will lead me home to you
Wait for me my darling daughter
I love you.
Knowing how much we will all miss her I’m sure that Debbie would have had something to say about it – she always did! The second poem seemed to say what I thought Debbie would if she were here. It’s called “I Wanted You to Know”.
I Wanted You to Know
by Teresa Shelton Bright
I was sitting here in heaven
And having a wonderful day
I started thinking about you
And all the things I didn’t get a chance to say
I don’t want you to worry about me
And please don’t shed any tears
Because I will wait for you in heaven
If it takes a hundred years
Everything I had on earth
I have in heaven too
My first day here
My body became brand new
(no more cancer, I have all my hair, and I look fabulous if I do say so myself)
It is really pretty here
And I love my new home
Although your heart is broken
Because my body is gone
My love will always be there
As you go along the way
Just take a peek inside your heart
There is where I’ll stay
Know that I loved my family
And all my friends too
My thoughts will be with each of you
Your whole life through
And when tomorrow starts without me
Don’t think we’re far apart
For every time you think of me
I’m right here in your heart
Rest in peace dear Deborah Lynn. Our world will not be the same without you in it, but it is truly a better place because you were here. We love you!
